


Watch Out! Bad Guys!

by allmilhouse



Category: Barry (TV 2018)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, Laser Tag, M/M, cartoonish depictions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-27 14:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21393640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: Hank talks Barry into playing laser tag, but Barry isn’t playing around
Relationships: Barry Berkman/NoHo Hank
Comments: 16
Kudos: 104





	Watch Out! Bad Guys!

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been toying with this for months and this is as close as it’s gonna get to being halfway decent so, like with everything in life, I give up. Title from Laser Cats 3-D

“Ok, so, before you kill me, I think this is a great idea.”

Barry just glared at him as they walked into the building. “Laser tag? Are you fucking kidding me, Hank?”

“Look, escape rooms are played out already. It’s like ‘prison break? Been there, done that’, am I right?” He cracked a smile but Barry wouldn’t budge. “Oh come on, it’ll be fun! You’ll go shoot a bunch of children, win me a giant teddy bear! It’s on like Mario Kart! Let’s go!” He dropped his credit card on the counter before Barry could protest, already so giddy and excited that Barry knew he couldn’t refuse. 

“Fine. But only one round.”

Hank’s face lit up in excitement, and Barry tried to match it, offering a much less confident smile as they paid and headed down a small hallway towards the back of the building. They found themselves in a mock dressing room, and walked to the nearest stalls. Hank slipped into a too-tight neon orange vest that clashed with his maroon polo. “Fashion leaves a little to be desired,” he tutted. 

Barry just shook his head, reaching for his own vest. “We’re not actually fighting children though, right? Like that’s not what this is?”

Hank’s eyes widened, something Barry recognized as his worst tell when he was lying, and he followed his gaze to a group of children gearing up by the opposite wall. They couldn’t have been more than ten years old. One of them wore a _birthday boy_ ribbon. 

Barry looked angrily at Hank. “Now what?”

“Are you kidding?” Hank sounded incredulous. “We go in there like the cool badasses we are, you slaughter young Brayden over there, then we go get ice cream to celebrate.” At Barry’s unflinching stare, he sighed dramatically. “Ok fine, I’ll blow you in the parking lot too. You drive a hard bargain.”

“No, Hank, that’s worse, there’s kids here-“ Barry’s protests were cut off by the lights dimming, and a recorded message counting down. He quickly slipped his vest on and reached for the laser gun. It felt too light and bulky in his hands, too large for target shooting, and the plastic trigger felt loose from wear and tear. He gritted his teeth, determined to make the best of the worst possible situation, as the door opened and Hank and the gaggle of children ran into the play area. 

It was dark and smoky, and Barry noted the two fog machines working overtime in his quick recon. He did his best to follow Hank, who wasn’t making it easy. He had ran up a ramp, leading Barry into a labyrinth of neon painted plywood, every wall looking the same as the last, covered with cartoonish monsters and explosions. Taller than the walls, Barry had to duck down to avoid being an obvious target, and as he felt his back grow stiff, he made a mental note to make Hank give him a back rub later, preferably before that blowjob he’d promised. 

He heard shouting coming from around the corner, and Barry snapped into action, creeping right along the wall. He turned and fired, taking out two of the kids before they even knew he was there, and slipping away before they could give chase. 

It was the same story a minute later, when he scoped out three children running down a flight of stairs, and it wasn’t before long he heard them grouping outside the makeshift tower, overhearing comments like “that big guy’s a _dick_”. He was half-tempted to go back and apologize, but finding Hank was his first priority. He followed the sounds of shouting, getting worried when it turned into uproarious laughter. Dignity long lost, he started running towards the source of the commotion. 

Turning the last corner, he found Hank in the center of a circle of kids, all talking and laughing and looking beyond thrilled. Hank himself was all enthusiasm, high-fiving everyone and giving out very age-inappropriate encouragement. “Fuck yeah! Dude, that was fucking sick!” 

He called his name to avoid being tagged by friendly fire, and Hank looked around, lighting up when he finally spotted him. 

“Oh Barry, finally! You should’ve seen it, Tyler jumped off the wall there, and did this flying trick shot thing! It was so badass!” 

The child in question raised his gun in salute, before eyeing Barry critically. “Can we trust this guy?”

“Totally. He’s my hired assassin.”

Barry gaped at Hank but the kids didn’t seem to notice, instead awed at the prospect of bringing in a laser tag ringer. Tyler, the apparent leader of this faction, brought everyone in closer for a huddle. 

Hank was to be the bait, being a larger target than most of the kids. If he could lure Brayden’s group out of their opposing fortress, a team of snipers, led by Barry of course, could take them out easily. 

Barry caught Hank’s eye and pulled him away from the group, ducking behind a plywood bullseye. “Hey, uh,” he paused, suddenly lost for words. “Be careful out there, ok?”

“It’s a children’s play thing,” Hank laughed at him, before leaning forward to kiss Barry’s cheek. “But thank you for caring about me.” 

Overhead, a recorded message warned them that only five minutes remained, and Hank instantly snapped back to attention, taking off down one of the side passages. 

Barry followed Tyler and two other kids, Hayden and Ryan, up another way, leading to the best vantage point. The whole terrain was laid out for them, and he could easily make out Hank’s pale head and fluorescent outfit zig-zagging across the main floor. 

He easily sniped a few intrepid kids that had ventured too close to Hank’s path, and he heard his teammates murmur their approval. Until suddenly more and more kids started flooding the floor and he realized the flaw in the plan. 

“It’s an ambush!” Tyler yelled, slamming his gun on the railing in frustration. Over a dozen kids were closing in on Hank, still cluelessly bumbling his way to the center of the maze. 

Heart pounding in his chest, Barry fired shot after shot, but the cheap plastic gun wasn’t built for the precision shooting he was used to. Next to him, Hayden had managed a few direct hits, but it wasn’t enough to stop the deluge. 

“Fuck it,” he groaned, before hopping over the railing. He regretted it instantly when he felt the impact of the ten foot drop in every square inch of his body, but he forced himself upright and took off running in the last direction he saw Hank. 

Operating on pure instinct, he moved quickly and purposefully, taking each corner swiftly, and always with his finger on the trigger. He was able to take out another pair of opponents before finally reaching Hank, still obliviously looping around. He grabbed him by the shoulder forcefully, pulling him back around a corner and pressing a hand to his mouth, glaring at Hank to keep quiet. 

As if on cue, they heard the last of the opposing kids swarm into the room they’d just left, and then the merciful sound of them being shot from some unseen force from above. 

“Hey, where’d the adult go?”

“No fair!”

“Goddammit!” 

As the fight went on, Hank’s eyes softened. He slipped out of Barry’s grasp only to lean forward and whisper in his ear. “You saved me.” 

A few excuses swirled in Barry’s head. Jokes, or ways to downplay it. But he knew, and Hank knew, that even though this was all pretend, Barry had treated it as seriously as any of their other violent encounters. Unsure how to respond, Barry leaned forward to kiss Hank. “That’s what I’m here for,” he replied when they finally broke apart. The countdown reached zero and the lights came back on, ending the moment. Barry’s gun vibrated, the screen lighting up with a _high score_ icon. “Come on,” he said, reaching for Hank’s hand. “Let’s go get you that big teddy bear.”


End file.
